Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
