Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I deserve this hangover.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
