we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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