yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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