If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Randomize
