Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
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