I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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