Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
