guys are not supposed to queef...right?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
