Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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