So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Randomize
