I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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