I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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