dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
barbara walters just said penis...
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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