If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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