actually, I'm a sock model
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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