2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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