dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
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