Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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