omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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