I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
