Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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