What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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