Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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