ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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