His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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