That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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