I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
