She's JV to your varsity
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
this will be a night to untag.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
