i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
