she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
