Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
