New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
