My friends, they love my intelligence
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
