i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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