Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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