The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
