I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
