You really coming over, don't trick.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
