69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
im holly from the hills drunk
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
