Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
