I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Farmville is her only friend.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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