I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
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