I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
