dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
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