her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
try to milk me bitch
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