You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
