why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
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