Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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