just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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