areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
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