I can text with my tongue
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
