I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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