I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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