how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize