my soul wont recognize me after tonight
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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