Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
