"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
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After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
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I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
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