How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
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