he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
