Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
