used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
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