Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
